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I'm avoiding my remaining schoolwork (boo, hissss) by making A List of all the movies I want to see in the next few months.

So. A List, chronologically by order of release, not preference.

April 11: Street Kings, starring Keanu Reeves, The Game and Hugh Laurie. Because Keanu Reeves's "badass amoral LA cop" face looks hilarious in the trailers, and because Hugh Laurie is ♥. I want to see if HL's character in a gritty LA cop drama is going to be a bastard like House or someone nicer, just to show the American audiences what he can actually do as an actor.

April 18: Forgetting Sarah Marshall, starring (among others) Kristen Bell and Russell Brand. Because some might say the Apatow romcom powerhouse franchise has jumped the shark after n-billion quirky modern romcoms, but I just want to see if KB and RB have any chemistry together. I don't think the plot will be anything spectacular, but the press around the movie will be interesting, 'cause I'm sure the rottentomatoes denizens will have interesting things to say about Russell Brand. Tee hee hee.

April 25: Deception, starring Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor. Because... Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor! They're playing Americans, so that means I'll have my entertainment watching to see if they can hold the accent. Then there's the plot summary: An accounting consultant (McGregor), while passing from one job to another, meets a charismatic, womanizing lawyer (Jackman) who personifies everything the numbers cruncher wishes he could be. The accountant delves into an erotic world of underground sex clubs. Miles of fun, right there. Plus there's the fun of watching EM play a buttoned-down, repressed, meek accountant to HJ's suave lawyer mofo. It could also be a corporate Tyler Durden thing, which would be entertaining.

April 29: Cassandra's Dream, starring Ewan McGregor (again!) and Colin Farrell. Because they're playing brothers (tee hee) and despite the fact that it's one of Woody Allen's genteel British thrillers (yawn). There's potential for more fun with accent-spotting, since it's a Scotsman and an Irishman aping some kind of cockney. But I've been exceptionally bored by Woody Allen's Brit films so far, and I have no reason to believe this one will be any different.

April 30: Inkheart, starring Brendan Fraser as the Dad, Andy Serkis as Capricorn and Paul Bettany as Dustfinger. Jim Broadbent and Helen Mirren are also there. Do I need to explain why I want to see this? The book is awesome, it's an action movie where people hang out in libraries (I watched part of the DW episode "Tooth and Claw" with Teagan yesterday, after which there was a discussion of research montages and the all-round awesomeness of bibliophilia)... Yes, it's yet another CG-heavy movie based on a kids' fantasy novel. But this one has Brendan Fraser and is about books! The graphics look good, the casting looks solid, and they seem to be going for quirky over epic. If they wanted epic, they'd have gone for a June or July release.

April 30: Mister Lonely, starring people like Samantha Morton, David Blaine and Werner Herzog. Plot summary: In Paris, a young American who works as a Michael Jackson lookalike meets Marilyn Monroe. She ends up inviting him to her home in Scotland, where she lives with Charlie Chaplin and her daughter, Shirley Temple. It's written and directed by Harmony Korine, who's also responsible for Gummo and Julian Donkey-Boy. What's strangest about this film is how it looks like it's shot to be a traditional Hollywood movie; shot on film, featuring exotic locations and using lots of helicopter shots. It may or may not involve incest or debilitating mental illness. It will involve Werner Herzog, which is enough for me!

May 2: Iron Man, starring Robert Downey Jr. This is on my maybe list. If the incredible crapitude of all the trailers is actually all a bunch of lies, I'd consider seeing it for its star. There's (of course) a trilogy in the works, so we may not be able to escape from this one. Better Iron Man than Made of Honor. Much as I like Michelle Monaghan, I don't think there's anything that could get me to see that flick. I think May 2 is a bad day for movies. I'll check what the rep cinemas have on then.

May 9: Speed Racer. MAYBE. Matthew Fox and Christina Ricci in a Wachowksi film? It'll probably be visually arresting with a paper-thin plot. Joel Silver's producing it. It's more of a download-film than an actual pay-money-to-see-it film.

May 16: Prince Caspian, starring... who cares? Another CG-heavy kids' fantasy novel turned into a summer blockbuster. I'll see it because I read the books as a kid, though nothing can replace the special-effects wizardry of those BBC versions. I'm really waiting for The Silver Chair, 'cause the BBC version freaked me the hell out. Until then, it's going to be a gorgeous film that will only look good on a big screen.

May 22: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, starring some guy I'm sure you've never heard of. A money-grab in the worst way, it'll probably get continuity nerds something to fantasize about, even more than Revenge of the Sith. On the other hand: sexy action archeology! Plus, it'll be cool to see an Indy film in theatres. Blockbusters just don't look the same when you get them home.

May 30: Sex & The City. Won't lie, I'll probably see this with [livejournal.com profile] amyisyellow. But then, I'm going to drag her to see Mongol, all about everyone's favourite warlord, GENGHIS KHAN! It's got subtitles 'cause it's in Mongolian. What would be really entertaining is if the narratively-necessary roadblock for Carrie's wedding was that New York was invaded by Mongol hordes. Carrie and the girls could use their fabulous spike heels to stomp the warlords to death. That, I'd pay to see.

June 13: it's a choice between The Incredible Hulk and The Happening. Sue me, I enjoyed Ang Lee's Hulk. It was gorgeous, maybe a bit too abstract and arty, and was one of the only superhero films to be brave enough to stop the posturing and explosions long enough to tell a human story as well as a story about super-humans. Besides, Eric Bana is far prettier than new-Hulk Ed Norton. But for continuity nerds, Robert Downey Jr. shows up in this new Hulk film as his character from Iron Man. I'm trying to care... oh... oh... no. Didn't work. [EDIT: I forgot that this Hulk was filmed in Toronto and therefore in the trailer you can see them running past the Sam's and Zanzibar on Yonge Street.] And opening against it is The Happening. M. Night Shyamalan? Hell no. It's a shame 'cause I like Zooey Deschanel. I'd see both of these with a large group of similarly cynical-minded people, but otherwise... Keee-rist.

June 20: Get Smart, starring Steve Carell. My mother would roll her eyes at Yet Another Old TV Show being made into a Hollywood film starring whatever flavour-of-the-month comedian was around, but then she likes Steve Carell, so I'm not sure what she'd think of this. But this isn't what my mother thinks of stuff, this is about what I think of stuff. So. It looks like Austin Powers, but with less idiotic gross-out humour, a more sane and subdued colour scheme and a hero we may actually genuinely like. Plus, it also stars The Rock. I call it a win. We'll see if this is just cheesy slapstick, which is how the trailer makes it sound, or something a bit more complex.

June 27: Wall-E, starring A CUTE LITTLE SAD ROBOT! C'mon, watch the trailer and tell me if you're not charmed by this. Cute little sad robot! Pixar! Cute little sad robot!

July 11: Hellboy II: The Golden Army, because I'm a fan of the comics, found the first movie entertaining enough and maybe this time around they can skim over the world-building and get to some interesting plot and character stuff. Agent Myers got written out of this one, which I'm okay about because they've got Johann Krauss on the team. It's also pretty funny that the trailer says this was directed by "The Visionary Director of Pan's Labyrinth" rather than "The Same Guy Who Directed the First Hellboy Movie". They look like they've got a bigger budget this time around because of that, so I'm not complaining. Just laughing at marketing people. :D

July 18: The Dark Knight, which I would have been more excited to see if Heath Ledger wasn't dead now. Now it's a little bit creepy. Still. Loved the first one, have heard nothing bad about this one, and Cillian Murphy is back as the Scarecrow. (Also, I'd much rather see this than Mamma Mia!, which is opening the same day. Gag me.)

July 25: the new X-Files movie! Starring Duchovny and Anderson, obviously, but they're joined by Billy Connolly, Callum Keith Rennie and Xzibit. Obviously. There's a leaked trailer-thing here for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. Presumably Callum Keith Rennie will not be reprising either of his previous roles on the series. I think they're going for the epic wrap-up of plot threads, rather than a feature-length version of a first-season episode. Still - it's being released almost 10 years to the day after the first one, which was after the fifth season of the show. Talk about franchises that won't die with staying power, eh? I'M SO THERE. I'm more excited about this than I am about the Hellboy or Batman sequels, let me tell you.

August 1: Swing Vote, a Kevin Costner vehicle that I want to see ONLY because I've already read the script and want to see the actual film. That is, despite it being all about how EVERYONE NEEDS TO VOTE in a democratic system so HEY YOU AMERICANS, GET OUT THERE AND VOTE in the upcoming presidential election. The press around this one will be precious.

... there are others, too. That Dragonball live-action thing, for example. Or the amusingly-titled Australia, with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, which I'll totally see 'cause it's a western set in 1942 directed by Baz Luhrumann. No singing or dancing, though. There's also The Fall, which may or may not ever make it to a wide release, and the Clone Wars feature, which probably shouldn't. The less said about the new Mummy movie the better. And for an awesome double-bill, I think that Pineapple Express (Seth Rogen and James Franco) and Blindness open on the same day.

Sigh. I love movies. If you picked up on the reference in the cut text, I'm very, very sorry.
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